Ask Your Elders
Say hello to my little friend—well not so much friend… Say hello to that annoying, know-it-all kid, who is constantly one upping-you and they aren’t even funny. Yes, say hello to that guy: The Watcher at the gate. The watcher is my inner critic but is hardly “innerly” critically. The watcher’s eyes say more than a death stare form an ex-wife to her cheating ex-husband who just showed up at Christmas dinner with an upgraded, newer model pretending to be little Jason’s new mommy. This idea of an internal critic called “the watcher at the gate” stems from Gail Godwin’s interpretation of her inner critic. In an essay of the same title as the monster, Godwin shares her experience of writing a novel, and felt she was not the only one writing it, she knew that another voice, inside herself, was making revisions and executive decisions about the story line. She states that the watcher is notorious for “rejecting too soon and discriminating too severely” (para. 2, 1977). The watcher is only defeated once you have let other’s in past the gate. That little guy has no control if you’ve willingly passed your secrets—or your essays—to others. Having many helpful eyes on your paper blocks the watcher’s view allowing the real evidence-based comments to work in the editing process.
Why Ask
Seeking guidance from your professors can help in numerous ways. All in one shot, Professors can give clarity, help you find direction, provide some validation, and support you through the writing process. Making the decision to ask your professor for help forces you to start your assignment early, be thinking about the assignment, and revise along the way. It may seem like more work, but having a second set of experienced eyes can greatly improve your paper, and it truly stops you from fighting so much with the watcher.
Listen to the Big Guys
In his helpful guide book Writing Tools: 50 Essential Strategies for Every Writer, Roy Peter Clarke states: “in the real world, writing is like line dancing, a social function with many partners” (p.133, 2011). Although sharing that a large team, each player with designated support task, Clarke names a teacher as a crucial part of your team. I agree that your professor is likely only one person on the bench, like a trainer, however they are good at all positions when asked the right questions. Professors are also good at being louder than the watcher.
Going Solo
What I found when writing the essay without any support is that in trying to avoid the judgement and rejection of others, what I thought would lessen my anxiety actually had quite the opposite effect. I became incredibly critical of my work: writing, re-writing, revising, editing, and starting from scratch the night before because I hated everything. It was not an experience that was fun by any means. I felt lost in the woods. I was in a forest of words and ideas, being chased by no one other than myself, but feeling hunted by watchful eyes, and of course student perfectionism.
Despite what can only be described as a series of panic attacks while chugging coffee and feverously typing, I did feel like every word was strictly my own. I could hear my voice, my tone, and my way of storytelling shining through the lines. However, all I could hear was my voice. I could feel the imperfections and the places where the watcher told me to rewrite and rewrite. It was nice to feel like there was not a sentence out of place, although I could tell the piece was unrefined.
Throughout this experience, I noticed that I continuously questioned what my professor was looking for in the essay. I already knew her, have handed in lots of papers to her, and have had her help directly in writing other pieces for her class, but felt like she was just going to tear apart this essay. Don’t get me wrong, it was not because I thought I could not handle the assignment by myself—they did let me in to the university—but I just felt like I was handing in something that would not suffice as 3rd year writing course material. I found myself trying to placate to my professor in a way that would gain me “brownie points” by having a same political alignment. It should be noted, I know that professors hate this. They do not want to hear what you think they want to hear. No, no, no. They want to hear what you have to say about the topic, with a strong evidence-based argument, and at least mediocre grammar.
The only reason I did not cave and ask for help was because, like many students, I was last minute cranking out the essay… the night before. I had to do what I had to do to meet the deadline, and staying within the bounds of my social experiment, meant that getting it done on my own was the only way that essay was getting written.
When I handed in that essay, I was so reluctant I could have been the Disney dragon from 1941. I was not confident, but the essay was due, and my hands were tied—I felt like I was bypassing judge and jury and handing my grade right to the executioner. To my surprise, I actually did fairly well on this paper. I somehow managed to inadvertently describe not only a possible new class of addictive disorders, but also single handedly created a dystopian like future where these disorders would grow, untamable, into the greater half of the 21st century. You can take this to the bank though: I’m not totally sure how I did that, or if I would be able to replicate such a sentiment on purpose without support.
Asking for Help
Here’s the truth: Every single time I walk into a professor’s office I am freaking out on the inside. You have to allow yourself, your paper, and ideas to be vulnerable and open to the judgement of others. However, every time I walk out, I feel so much better and so grounded, more than any other assignment. Knowing that I am going in the right direction, my ideas are solid gives this energy that tells me: I can do this. A big part of seeking guidance from your professor is leaving your inner critic at home. If I brought the watcher with me, every correction, piece of advice, comment or look would throw that monster into a tailspin of anxiety, nerves and I’d probably end up crying—which has happened—but you have to realize that this little meeting does not count for anything. It does not mean anything but good things, it’s not graded, and your professor will actually see that you are making an effort to turn in the best paper possible. Meeting with your professor is like training wheels on a bike, and remember University is still learning, we don’t always have to get it right all by ourselves.
Seeking guidance allowed me to feel more confident in my paper, and resulted in an overall more enjoyable writing process. Knowing that your professor is as passionate about the subject or at least interested in the topic you’ve picked is like a little boost. I felt a sense of wholeness compared to not having support from others. It may seem strange going to them for help, however they have office hours for a reason: Use them.
Student to Student tips about asking your Professor Questions:
1. Bring Specific Questions. Write them down or make a list. You will most likely tangent, which is good, but this way you won’t forget all the things you wanted to ask.
2. Bring Something Already Somewhat Started. It is easier to get help, even if you are looking for support in idea development, if you have some sort of direction. Be open to your direction changing if you find clarity in your ideas with your professor.
3. Bring a Paper Copy. this way Profs can write directly on your work and you will walk away with something concrete
4. Make Sure to Use Office Hours. If you are seeking a conversation, revision, or something that may take a little longer meet your professor during their office hours. For quick questions about ideas, formatting, or sources grab them before or after class. Meeting in person avoids the possible confusion and miscommunication.
5. Expect Questions to be answered with Questions. Your professors will attempt to guide you along, but offers ways to critically think outside of where you got stuck.
6. Find Professor you Really Like? There is no shame in asking a professor if they are willing to support you for other courses as well. Remember, other input from the actual course professor is likely going to get you exactly what you need.
7. They Are Human Too. Professors understand your stress and anxieties, and actively want to help if they can.
8. Nipissing is a Small University. Use the small northern size to your advantage, and take as much time as you can with your professors.
Sources:
Clarke, R. P. (2011) Writing Tool 48: Create an Editing Support Group. Writing Tools: 50 Essential Strategies for Every Writer p.133-135.
